I am gritting my teeth.
Once again, my life is being touched by shallow depths. Unlike most shallow water, which may carry a current of warmth, this one chills me. It's a water which bares no substance, nor does it quench any thirst.
It's the shallow depths of the beauty pageant world.
What is it about the beauty queen wanna-be that I find so repellent? Some of my readers may know a wonderful girl who proudly wore a homecoming queen tiara. Maybe you yourself were crowned. It isn't that rite-of-passage that has me so riled up. It's a grown woman squeezing a size 22 ego into a size 2 evening gown. it's the pageant-mom parading a young child before judges, quietly assuring them that while "it's inside what counts", the outside package had better sparkle more if they want to get ahead in the world.
I have known these women. Several of them... and pretty well as a matter of fact. They showed me nothing in their world that had me eager to drink that crystal-studded kool-aid. I knew the women in their personal lives as normal women; warts, pimples, body odor and all. I saw them scream at their kids, belittle their husbands and generally knock people down when it suited them. But, shine a spotlight on them and suddenly, they became the epitome of what they believed people believed them to be. Polished. Smiling. Gracious. Perfect.
Excuse my retching.
What drives an normal women to prove herself more desirable, more attractive, more intelligent, more talented, more (fill in the blank) than others around her? What pushes her to stomp on her competition's toes in her stiletto heels, while she holds that hand in "sisterly support"? What is missing from her life that she values the opinion of a faceless judge rather than cherishing the honest opinion of friends and family?
Yes? You in the back. I see you waving your hand. You are commenting that I simply must be jealous. This is what drives to to voice my feelings in this rant. Actually, there isn't a jealous molecule in my body.
There is something honest and true to working with your hands and heart. I don't wake up and look into a mirror to practice smiling. I don't practice answering questions in words that I feel would best suit another person. Instead, I put my soul into a piece of art. You are seeing the world through my eyes. And, you can either gasp with delight or gasp in horror. it doesn't matter to me. I am, first and foremost, being true to myself. You can see my life's journey. You can join me on that journey or you can slam the door to the vehicle. Whichever you wish, as I will travel this road with or without you.
Maybe together we should create the "Anti-Pageant". All contestants much be at least 18 years old. No moms allowed within 200 yards of the venue. No make-up. No hairstyles. Absolutely no cosmetic surgery. All clothing must be purchased from the local thrift store. All money saved from forgoing cosmetics and clothing would be donated to charity. Next: talent. No archaic, artifical abilites here. Extra points awarded to a woman who can rebuild a computer or change her own oil in her car. Then, it's question and action time ladies! The judges would ask them what they would change in our world.... then expect them to actually show us by her actions. Do you wish to banish hunger? Then, I expect to see you slinging a ladle in a food kitchen (without using it for a photo op!). No crown or prizes would be awarded to the winner. Instead, she could chose a worth charity.
And that, would be the definition of deep beauty. Certainly not shallow.