Sunday, June 24, 2012
You see, I know all about tips, having worked in a "tipping" establishment for nearly 20 years. Most everyone knows I spent many years behind a chair, as a hairstylist, in both Oregon and California. And one of the first lessons we learned as soon as our student scissors hit the floor at beauty school is that we were expected to *earn* our tips. It wasn't enough just to give a quick haircut and then expect a gratuity. We were expected to be prompt for an appointment. Make the customer comfortable. Bring coffee. Magazines. Was my customer under a dryer for a period of time? Ok, I got the footstool to prop up their feet. Basically, our service was expected to be spot-on, for that 15%. And on a $10 service, YOU do the math!
So, these days I can't help but to feel a bit hounded. Ok. Even a bit peeved, that people are beginning to feel that any kind of work at all deserves an additional contribution from our pocketbooks. Punching a few keys on a cash register and carrying my order from counter to counter doesn't warrant a tip for "services rendered". I would rather hand that honor to the poor waitress that sits me in a comfortable seat, hands me a menu, gives specials and suggestions, and generally "gives great service".
But, in the spirit of giving... allow me to give those teenage coffee jockeys a few tips... on life.
* NOTHING will ever prepare you for parenthood. Or childbirth. Or marriage.
* If someone says "Oh don't worry about it", maybe you should.
* All men find farting funny. All.
* If someone gives you a heart-felt compliment, don't argue. Just say "thank you."
* If a dog offers you their tummy, rub it. You will both benefit.
* Don't use swear words all the time. Save them for special occasions. Then let them proudly fly.
* It's better to have fewer friends, but of the highest possible quality.
* When in doubt, flush twice.
* Always drive like there is a cop in your rear-view mirror.
* Don't be afraid of getting older. That is when the fun starts.